The Devil's Home

Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste. I've been around for a long, long year…

I love that song. It doesn't hurt that Rock-n-Roll is mine (yup, those evangelical preachers got that one right). But it is only partially accurate. I was not there in St. Petersburg when it was a time for a change, nor did I hold a general's rank when the blitzkrieg raged. Those aren’t my things.

So, who am I? You probably know me by many names. Some are ones that I’ve used, while others are inventions of novelists with too much time on their hands or monks who starved themselves into psychosis. On this site, I’ll stick with The Devil.

What do I look like? I don’t know if you’re asking that question, but I am vain (does that surprise you?) and would like to counter all the misinformation. I keep running into images of me with a goat's head or bird’s claws. Now who the hell thought I’d have bird’s claws? Do you know who has bird’s claws? A bird! To make it easy, I’ve put my portrait at the top of the page (just scroll up). I sat for that (well, laid for that) back in 1868. Ah, Cabanel did have talent. He really captured my eyes. It’s a perfect likeness. OK, it was a perfect likeness one hundred and forty years ago. With TV, and easier access to chocolate, and a little too much sloth (children, be slothful in moderation), I’ve put on a few pounds. And I tend to go with a goatee. But it gives you a good idea.

From old books (one in particular) and folk tales, you’re unlikely to understand my philosophy, my view of life. So, let me clarify. I’m all about sin. But I am not about evil. Are those statements contradictory? Only if you have the wrong idea of what sinning is. Sinning is not evil, and evil has nothing to do with sin. Evil involves hurting someone, and that is never my goal. I don’t fire-bomb cities, torture prisoners, enslave minorities, or kill innocents. I think we both know who does that. Now I’m not saying that I’m always kindly and turn the other cheek. No, I’m not perfect, and I can get wrathful, and since I have the powers of Hell at my command, when I get angry, it isn’t pretty. But I’m even tempered, and as long as you aren’t trying to piss me off, we’ll get along fine.

So, if I’m not the source of all evil, or its supporter, then what do I support? Freedom. That’s a biggy. But it isn’t a fundamental principal. I don’t think freedom is vital because it is good in and of itself, but because no one is better at ruling your life than you. And what you should be free to do, is sin. Obviously, I’m going to have to define sin. Since that’s a whole essay in itself, I wrote a separate page on it. (The Devil and the Nine Vital Sins). I’m glossing over the matter here since you should all be capable of clicking on the link. (Do it! It isn’t that tricky.) So, sins are not things that harm others, but things that give your life meaning. And they are the things that churches, governments, and other unsavory organizations have been trying to stamp out for thousands of years. I’ve seen it. Take sexual pleasure. Over most of the globe, it is somewhere between socially impolite and a jailable offense to say in public that you had a great fuck last night that involved twelve positions and a lot of sweat, and it made you feel wonderful. Now that’s insane. Damn, you should shout it from the rooftops. Sorry, but sometimes you humans are idiots.

So, why am I writing movie reviews? Easy. I love movies. I should, since cinema is mine. Oh come on, did you really doubt it? All the arts are mine. Creativity is mine. There are some things that are called art that I have nothing to do with (Hummel figurines, velvet Jesus and/or Elvis paintings, Thomas Kinkade lighthouses), but real art—I influence it all. And this is the era of film. With so many critics voicing their opinions, often with no idea of how the muse caused the works to come into being, and people buying tickets to Tom Cruise flicks, it seemed time for me to sort the wheat from the chaff. Art has always been about expressing and promoting life and the joy that it can be (and pointing out why it often isn’t). That translates to: Art is a way to help you feel the Nine Joyful Sins. And I’m the best judge of sin.

So read my reviews, take my advice,  and have some courtesy. Have some sympathy, and some taste. Use all your well-learned politesse, or I’ll lay your soul to waste.

The Devil's Philosophy

Sinning.  It's all about sinning. I do love a good sin.  It's what life is all about, a good life anyway. But sin may not be what you think, particularly if you've had a narrow education.  So, what are these glorious sins, and what do they have to do with film criticism?  Read on.

Reviews

I review the films that are filled with luscious sins, or advocate sinning in the world.  I also look at films that directly refer to me.  Read on.

Essays

Some genres (groupings, movements, etc.) of film are of particular interest to me, and filled with those lovely sins: Exploitation, Blacksploitation, Nunsploitation, WIP, Religious Horror, etc.  Read on.