The
Devil's Reviews

Roger Moore — The Debonair Bond

Roger Moore was novelist Ian Flemming's original choice for Bond, but his contract for The Saint television series got in the way. Instead, he ended up as the third man to play the part—second if you prefer to classify Lazenby's appearance as an aberration that has nothing to do with the real 007.

Handsome and chic, Moore's Bond is much like Connery's (particularly when you compare them to the others).  He is a man who sins and loves it. Unapologetic, he drinks, gambles, eats rich foods, and fucks as many women as he can, and does it all with gusto. His intelligence and education are easy to detect, as is his wry sense of humor. He seems gentler than Connery's version, although that's only because he also seems to be more elegant and refined. Like his predecessor (his real predecessor) he is capable of killing a helpless opponent, and does so multiple times. Perhaps the greatest difference between his Bond and Connery's is in life expectancy. Moore's version is more of a super spy. It is inconceivable that anything will ever take him out. Connery's was always a little suicidal and would take risks for the Hell of it, not caring that eventually, he'd slip and that would be it. Moore's Bond never takes risks because he's just that good. What would be a risk for him? This is the James Bond all males want to be, unless you live by the credo: Die young, stay pretty. If you want to live a great life and go out in a blaze of glory, Connery's Bond is your man. If you want to live a great life, and keep on living it even as you slow down, Moore's Bond is the guy.

The Moore films, unlike Connery's, are consistent in tone and quality. His lesser outings aren't lacking because of huge mistakes, but because they are tired. No Moore film is bad, though one or two can be considered unnecessary. They are all action or action/adventure movies, not dramas or melodramas. They are pure entertainment (although the message of the joy of sinning is always evident).     

The Moore films are:

• Live and Let Die
• The Man with the Golden Gun
• The Spy Who Loved Me
• Moonraker
• For Your Eyes Only
• Octopussy
• A View to a Kill

 

Live and Let Die

Has Bond ever been more...Bond? Looking young again (Moore is older than Connery, but in 1973, looked younger), Bond is suave and unflappable. He has sex with every woman he meets and kills the enemy, sometimes unnecessarily. Yeah, that's my Bond. But this isn't just a revitalized Bond. No, this is Bond in blaxploitation land. The whitest of white secret agents meets black street culture. There are pimps and hip cats, sisters with afros, wild wardrobes, and urban lingo. There's a pimpmobile and loads of drugs. And there's a long visit to Harlem. Now shouldn't the hero in a blaxploitation picture be...oh, I don't know...black? So much for black power. Good thing the film's still cool.

Bond is sent to investigate the deaths of three agents. He finds that they are all connected to a Harlem crime boss and to the leader of a Caribbean Island named Dr. Kananga. After a none-too-successful attempt to pass unnoticed at an all black club, he heads to the islands where he finally gets some black tail. He also learns that Kananga relies on a hot white virgin fortune teller and decides she's the one to pump for information, Bond-style.

This is pure fun Bond. It has THE cinematic boat chase until The World is Not Enough and all the firefights the franchise is known for. But what won me over to this new Bond was how elegant he is while never coming close to being a gentleman. He's colder than he's ever been before. He fucks a girl after he's figured out she's on the other side, and when he's done, he sticks a gun in her ribs. He wasn't trying to delay her or win her over. He just wanted a quick fuck before getting down to business. She reacts to his death threat by squeaking out in disbelief, "You wouldn't, you couldn't. Not after what we've just done." To which he replies, "Well, I wouldn't have done it before." Beautiful. Similarly, with Solitaire, who values her maidenhead as the key to her prophetic abilities, Bond tricks her into spreading her legs with a fixed deck of cards. Not exactly the actions of a 1940s or '50s screen hero. Ah, but who can blame him? Jane Seymour is lovely, and Solitaire is the greatest of the babe-in-distress Bond girls. 

Following the fads: Blaxploitation, spiritualism.

Sins (What does this mean?)

Pride	Bond at his most self-assured.
Sloth	Nada.
Avarice	Nothing too opulent, but Bond doesn't scrimp.
Gluttony	Good wine, but little else.
Aesthetics	Jane Seymour is lovely. The travelogue is more extensive than normal but the locations aren't quite so magical.
Surrogate Cruelty	Shootings, car crashes, a few beatings, and a guy blows up. Plus, Bond's a bit hard on the ladies.
Thought	Bond doesn't hide his intelligence.
Humor	The usual one-liners, plus a sex farce at the beginning and a long comedy bit with a red-neck sheriff.
Lust	Bond again is an icon for free and easy sex. He fucks an allied agent purely for fun, a traitor before turning on her, and a partial enemy to gain power over her. Gloria Hendry looks great in a bikini and Jane Seymour looks great in everything.

 

 

The Man With The Golden Gun

With multiple first rate moments, plenty of sinning, and beautiful cinematography, The Man With The Golden Gun should have been one of the Moore's best; instead it is one of his weakest. Luckily, that still makes it far better than A View to a Kill and generally fun.

Informed that Francisco Scaramanga, the greatest assassin in the world, is targeting him, James Bond heads to the Far East to get him first. Along the way, he discovers that Scaramanga is involved in a scheme to steal a vital piece of solar energy technology. Helping 007 is Mary Goodnight (a nearly useless agent), Andrea Anders (Scaramanga's mistress), and Sheriff J.W. Pepper.

The writers and directors were not comfortable with their new Bond yet, constructing The Man With The Golden Gun for Connery's Bond, and then over compensating. After a Ratpack-era theme song (a trademark of Connery's films), Bond bullies a gun-maker and slaps a girl—you don't get much more Connery than that. The film is a dual between two testosterone-fueled assassins, which screams out Connery. But then there's Nick Nack (and his fate), the hick sheriff, and the school girl karate experts, all of which would be out of place in Dr. No. Those elements aren't bad (the school girls may be the high point of the film), they just don't fit in. Then there is the double main plot: James must stop the assassin Scaramanga and James must stop the mad scientist Scaramanga's death ray. This time, both would fit equally well in a Connery movie (or a Moore movie), but not simultaneously.  Scaramanga's personality even changes depending on which plot he's in at the moment. As an assassin, he's brutal and cruel, which is best demonstrated by his treatment of his mistress, but as a man with a desire for world power, he's a comic book villain.

There are two good movies here (well, one good one and one humorous one about yet another super-weapon), and both are filled with sinning. Too bad it's only supposed to be a single film.

Following the fads: The energy crisis and martial arts flicks.

Sins (What does this mean?)

Pride	It's a battle of Pride verse vanity. Pride wins.
Sloth	Nada.
Avarice	Nada.
Gluttony	007 eats and drinks well, and points out poor quality consumables.
Aesthetics	The islands around Thailand are spectacular and shot well.
Surrogate Cruelty	Assassinations, martial arts combat, and Bond slaps around Maud Adams.
Thought	It's clear again that intelligence is part of what makes James cool.
Humor	Many light moments, with three comic relief characters.
Lust	Belly dancing and two girls who really want to give themselves to Bond. A lot of bikini shots, and lets not forget Asian uniformed schoolgirls.

 

 

The Spy Who Loved Me

After two relatively small stories, The Spy Who Loved Me returns to the epic Bond tales prevalent in the Connery years. There's a full on mad scientist with plans for world destruction. James Bond must travel the lands and under the seas to stop him. There's a strong echo of both Thunderball and You Only Live Twice although it isn't as outlandish as either.

No Bond film starts better. The pre-credits sequence ends with 007 skiing off a cliff only for the Union Jack to pop up and carry him to safety. It's an iconic film moment and makes all other Bond-on-snow scenes a weak by comparison. That flows straight into the theme song (Nobody Does it Better; not one of the best, but far from the worst) where a line of nude, female, Russian soldiers (they're wearing their caps) march across the screen. Damn you've got to love the USSR after that.

That opening is an indicator of things to come. The action is spectacular, from one-on-one fights to a pitched battle between a submarine crew and the villain's army. Better, those nude Soviet silhouettes foreshadow Barbara Bach's sexy agent, Major Anya Amasova. She's the first of the strong Bond girls and it's an alluring change of pace.

Ocean-nut Karl Stromberg isn't a particularly memorable villain, but his henchman, Jaws, has personality to spare. He's huge, unstoppable, and has metal teeth that he uses to rip the flesh off of his victims, be they human or shark. Now that's an entertaining henchman.

Moore in top form, the beautiful Bach playing a confident woman, and a colorful assassin, all surrounded by extravagant violence, humor, and sex. Yeah, this is one of the best.

Sins (What does this mean?)

Pride	Bond likes being Bond, and Major Amasova is happy with herself as well.
Sloth	Nada.
Avarice	A glance at the lifestyle of the Arab prince is all the proof anyone should need that money is good.
Gluttony	Some find food and drink, though it isn't a major focus.
Aesthetics	Nice cinematography, beautiful Egyptian architecture, underwater photography that beats the Hell out of that in Thunderball, and Barbara Bach.
Surrogate Cruelty	The norm, plus after Bond gets the info he wants, he lets the helpless guy fall off a roof. Gotta love that.   And a man with metal teeth ripping out a victim's throat is fun as well.
Thought	Bond is smarter than ever (and a little vain about it).
Humor	A generally light tone with plenty of gags (though fewer one-liners than normal).
Lust	We're in good shape. Both Bond and Amasova are introduced while having fun in bed (not with each other). Bond is offered a plaything for the night by the prince (he accepts). Women are constantly using their sexuality to get what they want (something Bond himself does as well). Several fems just want to occupy him for a time, while Amasova uses her assets for Mother Russia.

 

 

Moonraker

It's Bond, in space.

Moonraker is often unfairly labeled the silliest film in the franchise (this is from people who haven't seen Thunderball,  You Only Live Twice or On Her Majesty's Secret Service for a long time).  It does have a light tone and it is more blatant with its science fiction elements, though there are several other Bond movies that are more fantastical.

A space shuttle is stolen in transit to the UK and Agent 007 suspects the manufacturer, the eccentric Drax, of pilfering his own product. With a little help from Drax's sexy pilot Corinne Dufour and CIA operative Dr. Holly Goodhead, Bond discovers the plot, and ends up taking a shuttle ride in order to save the planet. Unfortunately for him, the hulking killer Jaws is back, and he's been paid to stop our hero.

Besides having some of the best action sequences of the series (the fight in free fall for the single parachute is a classic), Moonraker works because it knows what it is. There is no pretence that it is a deep, meaningful movie that will give us insight into the human condition. It's pure popcorn entertainment and the only message here is: It's good to be James Bond. Things blow up, people are kicked off cliffs, and a giant bites through a cable with his metallic teeth. That's a fun way to spend an afternoon. 

On the downside, Holly Goodhead may have a great name, but she's not much of a Bond girl. She sits somewhere between bland and annoying, and while Lois Chiles is attractive, she doesn't show it off. Corinne Clery is much better as the secondary chick, but you know what happens to those girls in a Bond film. There's also the matter of the theme song, which is best forgotten; luckily, it's easy to forget. You also may find yourself wondering why characters are acting as they do in the first half.

Following the fads: This time the story is formed not just from cinematic trends, but from technological developments. The space-based plot owes a lot to the success of Star Wars and its many copies, but even more to the development of the new space shuttle. The filmmakers had hoped the release of the flick would correspond with the real world launch of the first shuttle. It didn't, and the Bond folks did it first.

Sins (What does this mean?)

Pride	As always, Bond demonstrates that Pride is the sin you need before engaging in all the others, and he's got an abundance of it.
Sloth	Nada.
Avarice	A little wine, but no gourmet meals.
Gluttony	A little wine, but no gourmet meals.
Aesthetics	You'll see a lot of the world with some fabulous new, old, and ancient architecture.
Surrogate Cruelty	Lots of death, with a higher body count than normal, but few of the deaths will get you worked up.
Thought	Bond displays his scientific know how, though pointing out what a shape shuttle can do doesn't impress me.
Humor	The usual one-liners plus Jaws adds slap stick routines.
Lust	Bond gets three women, though the chemistry is non-existent with Holly Goodhead.  Corinne Clery is quite stunning in her night gown.

 

 

For Your Eye's Only

After the sci-fi and slap stick of Moonraker, For Your Eyes Only dials things down several notches, which is good or bad depending on how you felt about Moonraker.  There is no super-villain in sight, nor are there lasers, rockets, or invisible cars. There are first class action scenes, an above average amount of tension, and, for a Bond film, some character development.

England's lost an encryption device, and James Bond needs to get it back before a Greek smuggler can sell it to the Russians.  Aiding him is hot-blooded Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet), who is out to avenge her parents' murder.

It's hard to get excited about the story. The goal is drab compared to saving the human race from annihilation as Bond has done so many times before, but then the plot is never the selling point in any Bond film. The travelogue aspect is strong, even though there's a lot less country-hopping than normal. What we get is the best of Greece (with some nice under water shots filmed in the Bahamas). The other element that sets For Your Eyes Only firmly in the top half of the franchise is Bond girl Carole Bouquet. Of course she's hot, but this time it's strong, self-assured woman-type hot instead of model who's just there to pose-type hot. This isn't a one-night-stand chick. One of the series' top babes, there's chemistry to spare between her and our hero. 

Following the fads: Winter Olympic fever is evident on the screen.

Sins (What does this mean?)

Pride	It's good to be Bond, and he knows it.
Sloth	Nada.
Avarice	You wouldn't mind living like these people.
Gluttony	The food and drink is good.
Aesthetics	Nice scenery, particularly the ocean around Greece.
Surrogate Cruelty	A slightly more violent outing that includes Bond using his license to kill on a villain he would have let live in a weaker outing.
Thought	Bond's a clever guy.
Humor	About average, with Lynn-Holly Johnson's boy-crazed teen skater played purely for laughs.
Lust	Bond gets several chicks. Cassandra Harris shows up in lingerie while Carole Bouquet has great legs in her swimwear.

 

 

Octopussy

How could I not love this film? It's titled Octopussy. I suppose they could have named it Sweet Cunt or Succulent Vagina, but Octopussy gets the point across. Of course the name is a tease, but that's the way of the Bond franchise.

The story's more-than-usually convoluted. A renegade Soviet general is secretly selling the Russian crown jewels and replacing them with fakes. When an imitation Faberge egg ends up in the hands of MI6, James Bond heads to the auction of the real piece and finds the disreputable Kamal Khan (Louis Jourdan) over-paying for the egg. Bond follows him to India where he must discover the connection between the Russian and Khan and figure how the mysterious smuggler Octopussy and her sisterhood are involved. It all makes sense in the end, but it might take an extra viewing to put it all together.

Octopussy is one of the better Bond films, but it is also off the mainstream, which hasn't made it a favorite amongst Bond purists. With its exotic locations, humorous tone, multiple villains and semi-villains, secret sects, and labyrinthine story that always makes it clear where the hero needs to go next, but not always why, Octopussy feels like an old serial. It belongs less with From Russia With Love than with Raiders of the Lost Arc. All Bond pics fall under the action heading, but this time the term adventure is more appropriate.

It is a movie that wows you with its fantastic stunts—better than the ones in the previous twelve films and in most that followed: A jet playing tag with a missile, a hunt on elephant back where Bond is the prey, a knife fight on top a moving train, wrestling outside of a plane in flight. I could go on but its better for you to watch them.

Topping the stunt-work are the women. Maud Adams is the primary Bond girl, a strong leader who's hot. She's joined by Kristina Wayborn as her acrobatic sidekick. Wayborn beds Bond, and then chooses the sexiest way to exit a room you're likely to find in film. But this is no two babe film. Octopussy commands a cult-like army of hot chicks (it's a fine world where every lost and confused woman on the sub-continent turns out to be a beauty) that all dress well, be it in translucent veils or skin tight circus jumpsuits. And these are appreciative girls. I love cults of sexually open babes.

Sins (What does this mean?)

Pride	As usual, Bond shows that Pride is cool.
Sloth	Nada.
Avarice	With money you can buy a palace.
Gluttony	Nada.
Aesthetics	Lovely travelogue footage of India.
Surrogate Cruelty	Bond produces another high body count, and his enemies do pretty well too. Nothing too intense. It's fun killings.
Thought	You might exercise some brain cells working out the puzzle-like plot.
Humor	More jokes than normal, with many double entendres: after sex, a nude woman holding a wine glass says, "I need a refill." A few of the gags drift into the silly (a Tarzan yell could be edited out even now), but most work, making this the funniest Bond film.
Lust	Many, many hot chicks in flattering outfits plus the first clear, brightly lit female nudity when Maud Adams leaves her pool (it's seen from a distance). A few hot Indian girls would have been nice. For being set in India, the number of blondes is abnormal.

 

 

A View to a Kill

Roger Moore is James Bond one too many times in this tired entry. Moore is too old to play the globe-trotting sex machine, but he's still the freshest thing about the movie. The script is an amalgamation of moments from previous outings, using Goldfinger to supply the plot (that and Superman). It isn't a bad film, just tepid.

A magical computer chip leads Bond to the horse track for an extended segment which turns out to have nothing to do with the rest of the movie. After someone remembers that there should be some kind of story, Bond is off to California to foil the scheme of psychotic, Nazi-created businessman Max Zorin (Christopher Walken) and his sidekick May Day (Grace Jones).  Bond joins forces with geologist Stacey Sutton (Tanya Roberts). Jones verses Roberts? It doesn't look good for Bond.

You can't fault Walken in the weirdness category, and Jones adds some much needed savagery, but they never quite click. I kept thinking they should have been more entertaining. Patrick Macnee adds humor as Bond's part-time sidekick, but he was more fun as Steed on the Avengers.  

Except for a blimp kidnapping (did you know it was easy to sneak up behind someone with a blimp?), nothing is too silly. The action set pieces entertain more-or-less, particularly a climactic fight on the Golden Gate Bridge. Just don't expect too much.

The one unquestionably bad choice was the casting of Tanya Roberts. She has some skill with comedy, but action/adventure is out of her range. She got by in Sheena with the help of her breasts, but she keeps her best assets covered here. If this had been the first Bond film with brightly lit full-frontal nudity, than Roberts might have made the movie something special. Instead we get her shouting out "James" over and over again.  Was that dialog written down? And each time she sounds like what she needs isn't a super spy, but someone to bring her an inhaler. 

Sins (What does this mean?)

Pride	James still likes being James, even as he gets older.
Sloth	Nada.
Avarice	You have to want to live in Zorin's house.
Gluttony	Bond does cook.
Aesthetics	Some nice architecture.
Surrogate Cruelty	People get shot, blown up, drowned, hit with heavy objects, tossed off of bridges, and peppered with rock salt. Some of it feels pretty good.
Thought	James is still clever, but not much about the movie is.
Humor	The ever-present one-liners are getting stale.
Lust	Low.  Bond in his '50s may need more recovery time. However, big points for his throwing himself naked into May Day's bed to explain why he wasn't in his own room when they were looking for him (he'd been...spying); bigger points to May Day for stripping down and jumping onboard.